4 Ways To Tell If Your Lover Is Lying

I would say it might be the single most frustrating thing in a relationship when you suspect your partner is lying to you. No, I take that back. That’s the second worst thing. The worst thing is when you know they are lying but they still won’t admit it. Sigh.

I hope that all of you coupled-up folks out there are not having to deal with this but instead have evolved past the need for petty lies and are rejoicing happily in the bright, sunny fields of mutual respect, love and honesty.

It would be more accurate to say that in the real world our normally perfect and wonderful partners have a couple of drinks too many on occasion, and that makes them do stupid things like make out with strangers at a bar. To top it off, they lie to us about it. If you need a little help in figuring out whether or not your partner is lying or you’re just paranoid, keep reading.

1. Your words are repeated back to you

When your partner simply repeats your words back to you, it’s a tell tale sign that he or she is not being completely honest with you. This stall technique is a classic and give him or her more time to make up an answer they think you will believe. You probably remember doing the same thing in school when the teacher asked you a question that you didn’t know the answer to. Didn’t work then either, did it?

2. It’s all in the eyes

Eyes are the biggest giveaways when it comes to carrying off a lie. Being untruthful makes you anxious and avoidant, meaning you’re always less likely to look the person you’re talking to in the eyes when you’re trying to feed them a fallacy. Wise folks should also know that if your lover is all shifty-eyed and you’re pretty sure they’re full of it, check out their pupils: they’re more likely to be dilated if they are spinning lies.

3. Discrepancies

Here’s the dumbest thing ever: your boyfriend was out all night and you have it on good information that was up to no good. When asked about it, this must-think-I’m-an-idiot jerk changes his story, even just slightly, every time he goes over it again. I’m sorry but even if I’m stressed because I think my significant other doesn’t believe me, or suspects me of something I know I haven’t done, there’s no way I’m going to just forget the truth.

In fact, if someone is being honest, they are much more likely to really hammer in the same facts, over and over, in an attempt to make you understand. If his/her account of what did or didn’t happen is turning into a shape-shifting story, it could very well be made up.

4. He/She becomes overly defensive

Now, keep in mind how you are approaching your sweetie in this situation; if you’re in attack mode, even the most kind and honest of the bunch are going to get defensive, which can make anyone look guilty. But if your partner’s level of defensiveness is way out of proportion to the tone of your conversation, that might be their pre-existing lie guilt bubbling up to the surface. Even if you don’t know they’re lying yet, if they suspect you know of their dishonesty, they’re going to throw up their walls. Related sign: they use overly convincing language.

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