ADULTS – Is it weird for my girlfriend of two years to still be close with her ex?
ByI have been with my girlfriend for two years. She has an ex who lives in a different city who she was with for 5 years. They have been broken up for five more, but they have continued to sleep together between relationships, and before we dated, he bought her a new computer and a plane ticket home when she didn’t have the money. I think he wanted her back. I spent much of our first year being concerned that she was stringing him along “just in case”. It has not been an issue for some time – we have gotten extremely close and I have heard little about him (as i understood it, he wasn’t talking to her b.c she was with me), but recently she has been distant and she just admitted that he is now going to build her website and she wants me to be ok with them talking. I dont’ know how i feel about this or about them talking every day. Is it wrong for me to feel like it is not fair for her to string him along and use him to get a free website? and for her to resent me for wanting her to look to me for whatever support she gets from him? (i guess i can’t build websites tho..)
answers only from people over 25 on this.
4 Comments
January 20th, 2011 at 6:36 pm
That’s a little too close for comfort, and I think your feelings are perfectly understandable. I think she is asking a lot of you if she wants you to be accepting of this. Just have a talk with her about how it makes you feel and why.
January 20th, 2011 at 6:50 pm
Nothing is wrong with the way you feel about the situation. Sounds a bit to me that she uses him when she needs to and I don’t think you have anything to worry about once you’re together. As far as I see, the problem is his. But you should still sit with her and discuss how you feel.
Out of all fairness, she has been totally honest with you about him and so you should be honest with her about him as well.
January 20th, 2011 at 6:52 pm
I honestly don’t see it right for her to be doing what she has.. If she’s with you then she’s going to commit to you and no one else. If she broke up with her and it’s for a reason and they should get over it! I wouldn’t be too sure if i was you about her losing touch with him, sounds like she still has some sort of feelings towards him. He may be kind of like a back up plan in case something goes wrong with y’all or it could be the other way around also. You may be the back up plan for them in case they try and get back together.
January 20th, 2011 at 7:12 pm
There is nothing wrong with you feeling the was you do. She needs to cut him lose completely. Tell her she would not feel the same if the shoe was on the other foot.